Friday, 31 December 2004

Christmas Gifts

People give gifts at xmas to celebrate relationships. So what on earth is it with people who give the most inappropriate gifts during this celebration of life, love and convivial connections?

Horribly Thoughtless Gifts Received
1. Sweets: What kind of gift is this for someone on a quest to lose 10 kg? I don't care if they're English Toffee that you lugged all the way from Buckingham Palace or the Big Ben Souvenir Gift Shop. I can't eat so much sugar. Would you be angry if I gave all the toffee away?

2. Cakes: Ditto the above question. I don't care that they're designer cakes. I don't care that they cost a bomb. They also have 1900 grams of fat and 38% cholestrol. There's also a whopping 2000 calories in each slice! Am trying to lose weight here, hello? Or are you trying to make me fatter? Also you KNOW my dad has an exxxxtreme sweet tooth. Why are you indulging it? Don't you know and haven't you heard that he has to watch his health and his blood sugar/ blood cholesterol???

3. A soft toy with soft wispy hair that is not stuck fast to the toy but comes off in your hand whenever you touch it. What kind of gift is this for someone who has allergies and hay fever? Hello??? Are you thinking straight? How many years have we known each other??? Give me some tissue boxes full of tissue to go with the next time you think of such a hare-brained gift. Then again if you could think of tissue boxes you would not be so hare-brained as to get me a soft toy that sheds fur each time someone breathes/wind rustles.

Horribly Thoughtless Gifts Given
None. Took me the whole year to buy all the gifts. We thought about what each person would like to have and bought the same. Rings for those who like bling blings. Movie tickets for the movie buffs. Books for the bookworms. Cds for the music lover. Clothes for those who hate shopping for themselves.

Anybody who does not like the gifts I have given can return the same and receive an angpow in commensurate amount. I will also bop you one on the head for being so kiasu and for looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Hmmm.... looking a gift horse in the mouth. What does that mean anyway??? Eh? Why in heaven's name would one want to look into the smelly mouth of any large animal? Where on earth do these sayings come from???

Wonderful gifts received - thank you everyone so very much!!!
Many many Books- this bookworm is so so happy. There will be a whole blog on this later.
Led Zeppelin Cds
Kick-ass eye gel masks that vanquishes racoon eyes
Gift vouchers for MORE books
Beauty products
A beautiful sunflower
A bling bling ring
A poem
An ancient flute
An excellent bottle of vin sauvignon blanc
A christmas dinner for two ;-)
Many kisses from Granny :-)

Thank you everyone for the wonderful presents you gave me. The card is in the mail.

A fervent thank you to all those friends who instead of exchanging presents gave the commensurate amount of money to charity. Especially to the tsunami relief fund, orphanages and to cancer research.

I feel kinda ashamed talking about presents like the proverbial ditzy bimbo when so many people in the world are suffering today.

Reading the newspapers everyday and watching the news is like watching some sort of horror movie, only the crap is really friggin' happening. Don't know how to react to all the shite happening in the world today, so the only solution is to laugh maniacally and talk about presents.
More posts to follow soon. See ya all soon and have a safe and blessed New Year.

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