Frederick the Fingertip

Was cooking Christmas dinner and my finger was inadvertently caught in the chopper. There was blood everywhere. 

I could not find the piece of my decapitated fingertip anywhere so my brother's nice new girlfriend rushed me to the A&ER without it.... and they fixed me up as best as they could over there. When I came back home, I was ravenous for dinner, and so was the rest of the family. Only.... the missing fingertip niggled at my conscience, so I desolately searched for it in the kitchen sink while alternately helping to set the table and dish out the stew.

The stew was really really good- simply scrumptious. Everyone enjoyed it, we polished off most of the stew and made short work of it... after dinner, we cleared the table, put away all the leftovers into the freezer and washed up the dinner things, while I surreptitiously scanned the kitchen floor for a piece of pink fingertip.

Nothing. Not a piece of flesh to be seen anywhere.

Then again, the brother darling had wiped up all the spilt blood, so maybe he had inadvertently cleaned the decapitated fingertip up with the blood and thrown it out with all the soiled paper towels.

I wonder...... where o where did my decapitated fingertip go, where o where can he be?
(yes, my fingertips are male...but that's a whole different positively freudian blogpost for another day, another time...)

where o where did my decapitatd fingertip go, where o where can he be?
where o where did my decapitatd fingertip go, where o where can he be?

Another possible plausible reason tickles at my worrybone and kicks me in the gut of conscience...wait for it... let's just see it in LARGE RED TEXT here....

WHAT IF THE FINGERTIP

FELL INTO THE GINGER CHICKEN STEW

AND WE ATE IT UP?!

Blech. Gross. Brain bleed. I feel this way and I am the owner of said decapitated he-finger.

How would the family feel if they knew that they (including dear sweet new girlfriend of the bro) had just become......unconscious cannibals? WHAT IF THE FINGERTIP HAD FALLEN PLOPPITY-PLOP INTO THE GINGER CHICKEN STEW AND WE ATE IT UP?  

Sounds about right, or as my brother would say, sounds legit....

THIS IS WHY I COULD NOT FIND IT ANYWHERE!!!! Why didn't I think to check in the crockpot???? AUGH.... I am Conflicted. CANNIBALS ARE IN THE HOUSE!!! AND THEY DON'T KNOW IT AND AND AND...THEY'RE ALL RELATED TO ME!!!!

Also.... I am hopefully overreacting.

I am definitely overreacting.

But if not.....Someone please please please come to my house and help throw out bits of cooked me, currently residing on the bottom shelf of the freezer. I am quite tasty.

Scratch that.

I am very tasty. Eat the stew and see that I am right.

Good night.