Friday, 12 November 2004

Invincibility vs. Fragility

The human body is so fragile. I always thought I was invincible. Then now, I find that I am not! My body is fragile. It can be destroyed easily, damaged easily and broken in two without any effort at all on my part. Ceh. What nonsense. I always thought of myself as supergrrrrl... (with just the right throaty growl accompanying the title)

Why has such a topic come up today? Well, it's a long long story. Do you have the time for this?
Here goes...

My idiotic chauffeur almost killed me at work on Tuesday. I had reprimanded him for his unacceptable conduct and unsatisfactory(let's just say downright dangerous!) driving standards. I, and 3 other colleagues were on mission out-of-state and his rubbish driving left us all hanging in fear for our lives!

He became angry and abusive and refused to drive the car, stating that if I and the mission team did not like his driving he would not drive us anymore and that I could 'damn well drive the car' myself.

Gee. Fine. Was that some sort of threat? Complain about my substandard driving and I won't drive you around anymore? Oh please.

So I did what needed to be done. I started to get out of the car to go around to the driver's side and take over the driving. He could damn well find his own way back to the office, if that was how he was gonna play it. But as I was stepping out of the car from the rear passenger door on the left, he jumped back into the driver's seat and started driving! WTF!! My left leg and half my butt was hanging out of the car. I repeatedly told him to stop the car, but he dragged me about ten to fifteen feet before he actually stopped the car!!

The whole mission team was shocked at his behaviour.
After the mission was over, I wrote a full report on his behaviour and submitted it to the boss. Suffice to say the office was shocked at what transpired. They asked all my colleagues what happened and everyone corroborated me.

And here I am.
Wait a sec.

Where is this story going?
Oh ya, invincibility and fragility of the human body.

Well, I thought I was not injured by the little body-dragging stunt I went through on Tuesday afternoon, so I thought nothing of it. But on Wednesday when I tried to drive to work, my left arm was completely useless. I could not move it at all.

Well, I could move it, but then you would hear loud screaming coming from somewhere.

And on Thursday, my ankle swelled up and my foot was purple. My knee was swollen as well and when I tried to climb the stairs up to my condo. apartment, I climbed it like a crab.

It then struck me. Wei. Woah. Why am I climbing the friggin stairs like a drunken crab???
Must be some sort of injury from Tuesday's stunt driving. So I hied me ho to the hospital this morning, and after a battery of poking, prodding and tests, the diagnosis was that I had torn a varied number of ligaments in my shoulder, my knee and my ankle.

Huh?? And here I thought I was all healthy and invincible. I did not even know that I was injured!!! How could this happen? I am a woman of substance. I am invincible. I am stardust!

The doctors also gave me a scary amount of things to eat. Namely drugs. I now have an interesting array of the same to take:-

  • 6 types of painkillers.
  • Vitamin B pills
  • Adrenalin tablets
  • Anti-inflammatory medication
  • and a kick-ass analgesic ointment that makes the skin on my knee and ankle shiver with pleasure.
I had taken the first dose of the painkillers and the adrenalin tablets just before blogging. And I have just put the cream on. Ooh shiver me timbers! The cream is so cool and tingly. I like... Woohoo! Feeling just a tad dizzy now so this post must end here.

Bubble bubble cauldron bubble.
Double boil o bubble and wibble wobble trouble.
Bubble bubble cauldron bubble.

Double boil o bubble and wibble wobble trouble.
Bubble bubble cauldron bubble.

Double boil o bubble and wibble wobble trouble

For some reason I find the above extremely funny and interesting. How odd.
I think the drugs are kicking in now.
Gotta run, folks.

Catch y'all l8r

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