Far from the maddening crowd the future stands smiling
And yet I shiver and crouch in these cold pressing shadows
Do I deserve any time in the sun?
Will the robin red breast come a-calling if I sing?
Far from the beckoning gestures my brother and sister give in word and deed
Calling me to be all I can be for everyone's sake - every life for itself the path is drawn
I stand here and as they keep striding on further and further ahead on that brick road
Will the road rise up to greet me if I start running towards them three?
Far from the silvery hairs gleaming on my father's jawline
I think of what I am meant to be if I am no longer his keeper
Apart from being the spare to the heir and the optimistic dancing bear
Will lady of the skies answer my longing stares at her morning face
The very idea of a universe without my father's face, faith and hope in it
Makes my brain shiver and shriek loud screams that cannot be heard by human ears
Who are you to ask me to think of a future without him, you Judas of my home?
Have you seen the paths we have trod on together, have you seen his faith in me?
No one else has that.
Far from the shrinking daylight the fading past throws me a bloodily frayed rope
A black hunting shadow sounds a throaty barking as it sends a final lasso calling
Do I deserve to escape its gallow-like bellows as they thrill me with shivers?
Will my feet answer with quicksilver speed and protect me from its unforgiven pull?
No else can do that.
Answer me o Angel of Salahin, Saul and Michael. And Gabriel, one hopes.
I have tried to be all I can be within the boxes you set and the lines you draw
Must I try again and again despite secretly aiming for the centre of the earth?
Will thy wings lift me up into the heavenly winds or scatter me on the rocks?
Anne V (9 September 2014)
(Excerpts from The Cavern)