Saturday, 8 April 2006

Illegitimus Non Carburendum

For many months now I have just been floating along at work. Not really interested in gunning for credit, or position, or high profile work. I just do my thing, save some clients from peril, and then I go home. I also let other people take credit for my work, my suggestions and ideas. The way I see it, what goes around, will come around and those people who have been fluffing their windbreakers on the coat-tails of my hard work, will soon have to put their money where their mouth is.

I think my biggest problem now is that I can't be bothered to be a shark at work. I am very capable of being aggressive and competitive, but I just don't feel like it these days. I can't be bothered to play the game and get what's mine. I work to live, and not live to work, and I want some measure of a quality of life at work, seeing that I spend 14 hours daily working at the office. I don't want everything to be a battle, and I don't want to fight with my colleagues when I don't really have to. So what if they take the credit? So what if they act as if the brilliant idea they had is all their own and not something which I suggested to them in the first place?

Sooner or later, they'll still have to come back to me for help, for suggestions, and for the ideas. I'm one of their eureka girls (sorry for being so bloody perasan, but it feels that way sometimes, what with the constant disturbances at work, with the PTB* constantly wanting and organising meetings, retreats and emails for input). And that's fine with me for now, as I just need a break from all the transference, from all the strife, all the madness, suffering and grief I see everyday in the course of dealing with my clients.

I want peace. I want silence. I just want to sit back and smell the roses.

What is wrong with me?
Can someone kick me in the ass please?

* For those not in the know, PTB = Powers That Be

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