Friday, 12 October 2012

Deluxe Crackers

I remember the days of my childhood
When you were larger, stronger, faster
and awesome at everything you did

You were my hero, my idol
I wanted to be just like you
All through my teenage years
My early adulthood
You were the steady solid rock
on which our family stood
You kept us together my brother and I

It's been many years since mummy died
You have been our mum and dad since
My everything

Now that you're older it is hard so very hard
Seeing you age and grow frail is something new
More than I can bear
Seeing you
Unable to balance a box of crackers
Without spilling them everywhere
Shaking hands and tired muscles

It is a shock to my system
The fissures in my heart crack anew
This is why adult children leave home
So that they do not need to witness
The heartbreak of parental aging
The loss of their forever childhood
Of truths that they will be next

Dumbfounded and dazed
I am bereft and cold
As I pick up broken bits
Grainy crushed crackers on the marble tiles
I feel all smashed to a grieving pulp
The loss of my Hercules Dad
Is more than my senses can take

A dagger flies straight into my heart

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