On the way between haircare products and supercool eyewear, I had to stop at the restroom after one-too-many iced teas during lunch. And then my mood was completely spoiled.
Note to Self For Future Reference
Too many iced teas when out shopping- First mistake
Stopping by public loo in KL (however hip the location )- Second Mistake
Some A-Grade arse (sic) of a woman had actually squatted on the top of the toilet seat in the loo. WTF????? The toilet looked clean and pristine, after all, this was one of the snazzier, more high-class shopping districts in town, so I just could not understand why someone would want to bloody squat on the toilet seat in the first place.
It's hard enough justifying it when the loo is dirty, because the footprints contribute to the filth in an already filthy loo and one would be sullying one's footwear by doing so (so the correct thing to do is to 'Hover')... but... in this oh-so-clean restroom in a five-star shopping district, what, pray tell, was the reason for unknown evilbitchstick squatting woman to want to squat on the toilet seat?????
No rhyme nor reason.
And since I was not a fan of 'hovering' under any circumstance, I popped over to the next cubicle, and what do I see???
A bra in the toilet bowl.
A little white lacy brassiere in the toilet bowl.
What the hell is a bra doing in the friggin' toilet bowl?
And more importantly...
Now how was I gonna 'go' on that?
With my bladder already painfully, screamingly full, I just gave up on my quest for a clean loo and sacrificed all my ethics. All the other cubicles in the ladies' restroom were full and I simply could not wait another moment to 'go'.
I used the disabled persons' loo. I deprived a physically challenged person access to restroom facilities. How cruel. Sue me. But, it was either that, or 'go' all over the restroom floor. So am I now as evil as Evil-Arse Toilet Seat-Squatter Woman?
I don't think so.
I hope not.
But if I am...then...Evil-Arse Toilet Seat-Squatter Woman, I put a hex on you!!!
From now each time you filthy up another loo, your hair will smell like unflushed toilet water for approximately 66.6 minutes each time you have something important to do.
Woe betide you if you indulge in any more toilet seat squatting.
Woe betide you if you in any way filthy up shared public space ever again.
Woe betide you if you have an important meeting/date/gathering to attend.
This Hex is Retroactive! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! This Hex is Retroactive!
I should think up an appropriate hex for 'Evil Bra-Throwing Woman/Girl/Person WithFlatBreastsAkinToAirportRunway' but I suppose having flat breasts (..) is punishment enough.
Now if 'Evil Bra-Throwing Woman/Girl/Person WithFlatBreastsAkinToAirportRunway' had Pamela Anderson breasts (O)(O) then I would have to think up an appropriate punishment.(You're also correct if you think that that I just felt like drawing some breasts on this post today)
So...then...Evil-Arse Toilet Seat-Squatter Woman, just to remind you because I know you have forgotten by now(because of your pea-sized brain lar!) that I hexed you... well...
I put a hex on you!!!
From now on:
- Each time you filthy up another loo, your hair will smell like unflushed toilet water for approximately 66.6 minutes each time you have something important to do.
- Woe betide you if you indulge in any more toilet seat squatting.
- Woe betide you if you in any way filthy up shared public space ever again.
- Woe betide you if you have an important meeting/date/gathering to attend after a loo seat squat.
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!Sanity Schmanity Has Spoken.